Jealousy is an ugly thing
by falling-in-a7x
Summary: When Chibs returns, Lauren discovers that she still feels something; it brings her trouble.
1. Chapter 1

Lauren sat on the edge of the pool table, eyeing Chibs closely. He had been spending a lot more time with her younger sister and she didn't like it. If it wasn't obvious by the way she had been acting, she was a bit jealous. Chibs was supposed to be hers, but that was a bit difficult, seeing as she was married. She wanted something that she couldn't have, but she didn't see it that way; she was only protecting what was rightfully hers in the first place. He was supposed to be madly in love with her, she could use that to her advantage any time she pleased.

As Chibs sat at the bar, she watched one of the brunette croweaters walk up behind him. It was harmless at first, but Lauren's rage began to boil once the brunette threw himself at him. The room was filled with the fellow members of the Sons, so she had to keep it quiet; but she didn't know if she could do that much longer. Watching the act disgusted her. Once the pair rose from their spot at the bar, Lauren jumped off the pool table. Heads turned in her direction, watching her every move, but she didn't care; this couldn't go on any longer.

"Listen, skank, get your fucking loose ass out of here before I beat it." She said, walking over to the pair. Her voice was serious, which rather surprised everyone; she never spoke to the croweaters in the matter. Lauren never had a problem with them before – until now, that is. A smirked appeared over her lips as she watched the croweater exit from the clubhouse; she was pissed. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Chibs asked, looking down at the blonde in front of him. This was a whole new side of Lauren that nobody had ever seen before, it was quite scary.

Lauren sat silent as her eyes widen; she just realized what she had done. Everyone in the room saw her shoo away someone from Chibs out of her jealously. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." She mumbled, shaking her head. Turning around to look over at Jax, she instantly regretted it; he looked furious. He knew why she did what she did. "Forget it." Lauren said, running a hand through her hair. She quickly ran into one of the back bedrooms, trying to shut the door before Jax could get in, but it was too late. His strength was no match for her.

"Do you want to tell me what the hell that was about?" Jax asked, crossing his arms. His wife, his own wife, was jealous over someone that tried to kill her. Someone that was her past; she said that she didn't have anymore feelings for him. "I.. I don't know." She whispered, shaking her head. She didn't know what overcame her, she just knew that she couldn't let anyone else touch him. He was hers and only hers. "You fucking lied to me, Lauren!" He yelled, shaking his head. He trusted her, he believed that whatever she felt for Chibs was gone; it obviously wasn't.

"I didn't lie to you." She said, looking up at her husband. He had to know that it was a lie when she said that she was over him; she was. The feelings only returned when he came back. "Whatever. You're probably lying right now." Jax said, shrugging his shoulders. It's what she did best; she hid secrets and let them come out at the worst possible time ever. He was done, though. "Pick. Him or me." He said, opening the door. "Better pick the right decision, because hunny, your life is going to be hell if you don't." Jax said, smirking wickedly as he stepped back out of the room.

Lauren was left, sitting in a pile of confusion. What the hell did he mean by that? She knew who she was going to pick, but she also knew that Jax wasn't going to talk to her until he was ready. She caused too much trouble. Way too much trouble. "It should have never been like this." She whispered, walking over to the mirror in the corner of the room. As she looked at her reflection, she frowned. This wasn't who she was supposed to be. She wasn't supposed to be confused about who she wanted; she was supposed to know. As she sat back down on the mattress, she ran a hand through her hair. Things were so much simpler when she was in a coma; she didn't have to worry about any of this bullshit. Sadly, she was stuck there. With the drama and all.


	2. Chapter 2

It had only been three days into the week and Lauren was already going crazy. Her mind was eating her alive; she couldn't survive another moment in that room. She was supposed to be getting her mind straight and choosing who she wanted, but the more she thought, the crazier she got. "Get out, get out, get out!" She screamed, clutching onto her head. She couldn't take it anymore, it was too much. Every voice, every sound, every cry for help; it drove her further into the shell of darkness where there was no return.

Lauren stumbled off the mattress, nearly falling as her feet hit the floor. She didn't know where she was going, but as long as it took her away from the voices. She slowly walked out of the bedroom, going down the hallway. She walked into the first door she came to, frowning as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror. Her reflection shown someone that she didn't recognize; someone who was damaged and who was in serious need of help. She ran her fingers over the reflective surface, tilting her head as she stared into her own eyes. This wasn't her.

Moving her eyes away from the mirror, she glanced around the bathroom. A look of pain formed over her face as the voices once again started. "Get the fuck out!" She screamed, clutching her head with everything she had. Lauren quickly exited the bathroom, moving to the staircase. She gripped the banister and carefully walked down the flight of stairs, occasionally stumbling as she did. She wasn't in her right mind and she definitely wasn't coordinated like she used to be.

The blonde walked into the kitchen, instantly rummaging through cabinets. "Where is it? I know it's here.." She mumbled, picking up every single medicine bottle and scanning over the label. Once she found what she was looking for, she slummed down on the cool hardwood floor, with her back up against the lower cabinets. Lauren opened the medicine bottle and poured out the pills into her hand, sighing happily at the sight. All she wanted was for it to stop; she wanted everything to go away.

Lauren reached up and grabbed a half empty water bottle off the edge of the sink, instantly opening it as she brought it down to her level. She poured the handful of pills into her mouth, washing it down with water. "It's going to be over soon." She whispered, setting the bottle down beside her. Without a doubt, Lauren would have silence and she wouldn't have a care in the world. Everything that she was forced to think about in the previous days before; it wouldn't matter.

Pushing the strands of her blonde hair out of her face, she laid down against the floor, using her arms as pillows. She gently shut her eyes and sighed softly, waiting for eternal sleep to overcome over. This may not have been the way she should have handled things, but it ended the madness inside her head. It gave her silence and it gave her peace; the two things that she had been longing for.

Who would find Lauren? Who knows. There were four more days left to the week. She'd stay there until she was found.


	3. Chapter 3

Lauren's only saving grace, was that Jax was making a surprise visit later that day. He needed to pick up some more of Abel's things because Gemma was taking him on vacation with her. Jax had already approved it, so there was no arguing from Lauren. The key turned in the door and in walked Jax; he instantly expected her to run to him as she did in the past. Nothing. "Lauren! I'm here to pick up a few things!" He yelled, shutting the door behind him. Nothing. Shrugging his shoulders, he walked up the staircase that led to the second floor. In his mind, he figured that Kate came to pick her up; he had no idea that she was nearly dead on the kitchen floor.

Jax walked inside the nursery, sighing as he looked around. It wasn't fair to his son that he constantly had to be shifted between house to house because his mother was a crazy bat; a baby shouldn't be forced to endure that. He quickly packed a duffle bag with his sons clothes and diapers in it, making sure to pack extra – just in case. As he walked back down stairs, he still found it strange that he didn't get an answer before. Lauren seemed like she was home, she wouldn't go over to her sisters unless she wanted to face Chibs; he knew that's not what she wanted.

"Oh, shit – bottles." Jax mumbled, running a hand through his hair. He walked towards the kitchen, raising his brow as he saw strands of blonde hair peeking out from the doorway. His mind had to be playing tricks on him, right? That couldn't be Lauren. Jax ran into the kitchen, dropping the bag at the sight of his wife on the floor. She looked so peaceful, yet so damaged. "What the hell have done?" He asked, putting two of his fingers on the side of her neck, checking for her pulse; it weak and going down by the second.

"Lauren, baby, you have to stay with me." Jax said, pulling out his phone. He instantly called 911, making sure that an ambulance was going to be there within no time. He couldn't lose her, that was the last thing he ever wanted. As he looked around her body, he raised his brow when he spotted the medicine bottle. When he picked it up, he sighed. "You tried killing yourself. With Ambien." He shook his head. He never thought that Lauren would do a thing like that, especially when she had family to look after.

Jax sat on the floor beside his wife, staring down at the bottle in his hands. He didn't know why she did what she did, was it because of him? Was it because of Chibs? Was it because of both of them? All he knew was that if she died, he wasn't going to be able to go on. His life would never be the same. Once there was a loud knock on the door, his head perked up. "Come in!" He yelled, instantly moving back. He watched as paramedics rushed over to his wife's side, doing everything they could; they were limited though. "We're losing her! She needs a hospital and fast." A paramedic mumbled, hoping that Jax didn't hear. He did, though.

The paramedics loaded up Lauren on a stretcher, instantly taking her out of the house. Jax ran after them, getting into the back of the ambulance with them. He wasn't going anywhere without her, he had to know that she was going to be okay. The entire ride to the hospital seemed endless and heartbreaking; by the end of it, Lauren was hooked up to several machines, but her chances were still very slim.

Once they ran into the hospital, Jax was forced to wait in the waiting room. He wasn't allowed in the same room as his wife when they were trying to save her. He understood it, but that didn't meant that he had to like it. Crossing his arms over his chest, he sat in a chair, bouncing his leg with his nervousness. He wanted to be okay, he didn't want her to die. Something had to be better soon.

::

Several hours later, Jax was finally approached by a doctor. He looked down at his clipboard and sighed. "She's alive, but she's not in the best condition." The doctor admitted. Lauren took too many pills, they did what they could do. Jax ran a hand over his face and nodded his head, before he got out of the chair. "Can I see her?" He asked, raising his brow. All he wanted to do was hold her again and tell her everything was going to be alright. "You can, but be gentle. She's in a very fragile state." The doctor said, turning to walk down the corridor.

Jax followed the doctor down the hallway, shuddering at the sight of the signs on various doors; a laminated sign with a blue bird was hung on a few doors. That was the symbol of death in a hospital, it scared him more than he could ever think of. Lauren could have been one those people who collected those signs. Once they came to the mental health ward, Jax stopped in his tracks. "Why is she here?" He asked, biting down on his lip. "She tried killing herself. We're keeping her here so we can keep a better eye on her." The doctor nodded his head.

"Her room is number 674, good luck." With that, the doctor disappeared to his work station. A sigh escaped Jax's lips as he walked down the hall, checking every number on the door he crossed. When he came to Lauren's room, he shook his head. He was afraid to find out what it'd be like when he walked inside, but he couldn't turn away now. She needed him, or at least he thought she needed him.

He gently knocked on the door, before he pushed it open and walked inside. She still looked damaged. "Hey, babe." He said, his voice soft. The mere sight of Jax caused tears to build up Lauren's eyes. She wasn't supposed to be there in that bed, in that room; she was supposed to be dead. "Why'd you do it?" He asked, sitting down in the chair beside her bed. "I wanted it to end. I'm so fucking done with this shit." She said, shaking her head. It wasn't getting easier.

Jax sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Suicide isn't the answer, Lauren." He said, his voice soft. He couldn't do anything to upset her, not after what she's been through. "It was the only thing I could come up with." It seemed logical at the time and it still seemed logical now. Her thoughts were going to drive her mad; nothing was going to help her now.

Fiddling with the ends of the white hospital blanket, she sighed. The beeping from the heart monitor and the steady buzzing sound of the IV machine filled the room. "Take care of Abel for him." She said, looking over at her husband. The words confused him, what did she mean by that? She wasn't planning on doing it again, was she? "Lauren, what are you going to do?" He asked, concerned. Lauren shook her head. "Nothing. They're transferring me out of here soon. I'll be back in the asylum." She said, shrugging her shoulders.

Jax looked at Lauren with a look of disbelief on his face. They were sending her back to the place that fucked her up before, they couldn't do that. "Lauren.." He started, but was cut off by Lauren shushing him. "It's for the best. We both know that I need help. I'm fucking crazy. Our son doesn't need a mother who isn't stable enough to take care of herself. Take care of him. If I'm lucky, they'll let me out within a few months. If not, file for divorce, move on." She said, biting her lip. Things needed to change, she needed to change; she needed to get herself better.

"You should go now." Lauren said, running a hand through her hair. It pained her to tell him that, but she knew that he was only going to get booted by the nurses soon. "We'll see each other again soon." She said, watching him rise up from the chair. Jax shook his head as he leaned over, kissing her forehead gently. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. "I love you." He whispered, walking out of the room. There had to be something he could do to fix it, but he knew there wasn't; he had to let her go and get help. It was the only way.


End file.
